It is the year 2124. KETCHUP is now spreading evil amongst the world. Some people believe it should be stopped.
A Bill:
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representative of the United States of America United:
To stop KETCHUP
Section 1: KETCHUP (Kelvin Extraordinaire, Thick, Cat, Hot, Under Pressure) will be destroyed through every means necessary.
Section 2: All citizens must participate in the destroying of KETCHUP and its servants.
Section 2a: They are exempt if they are physically unable to.
Section 3: Funding for this bill will come from the Department of Defense.
Section 4: This bill will go into effect immediately.
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