Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Day 361
Monday, January 30, 2012
Day 360
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Day 359
Act 1 Scene 1
(Carsons and Jimmy sit in a small room playing cards. There table is round and the room is very dim and not very well decorated.)
Jimmy
And that was how I lost three hundred in Vegas.
carsons
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe...
(He looks nervous)
Well maybe...
JIMMY
That my wife is a bit insane? Yes it has.
CARSONS
Not that.
JIMMY
So then what?
CARSONS
The gods don't exist?
JIMMY
Don't you dare say that or else-
police
(From outside)
You are surrounded. If you come out now you may be spared. You are being charged with high heresy.
JIMMY
Well look at what you've done! You are going to get us killed!
CARSONS
I didn't mean to.
JIMMY
Tell that to my widow!
CARSONS
You tell that to my children!
POLICE
The mighty Hercules, Emperor of North America and Sovereign of Canada has heard your prayers and will allow you aside him to teach devotion. This is the only chance for survival.
JIMMY
Guess we don't have a choice. Come on Carson boy.
(They exit the building.)
Act 2 Scene 1
(Cut to Hercules' garden. It is a large garden with a throne at the far end. Sitting on the throne is Hercules and next to him are his advisers, Donny and Sally. On a bench near Hercules sits a blind wise person, James. Standing opposite Hercules is Florence, prime minister of Switzerland.)
hercules
So maybe you know why I have called you here.
florence
If I didn't know better I would say you are going to try and conquer Switzerland.
HERCULES
Sort of, boys tell her what we'll do.
donny
First we will blockade all paths into and out of Switzerland.
sally
Then submit to the citizens in the name of the Gods.
donny
The capitol will be burned and your culture will be assimilated and changed to follow the Gods.
SALLY
Finally you will be removed as Prime Minister and sent to the camps.
FLORENCE
So why not do that right now? Here I am.
james
Only a fool would tempt.
Florence
A fool! A fool! You wretched blind man! I would tell you to look at me if you had eyes but alas here I am. Do with me what you will but tell me what you want with Switzerland.
HERCULES
Your stone and I believe ending my title with Supreme Ruler of Switzerland is more fearsome and respect worthy then Sovereign of Canada.
FLORENCE
Respect worthy yes, but fearsome? There is nothing fearsome about Switzerland!
HERCULES
I'm sorry but there will be when I am its Supreme Ruler! Guards, put more holes in her then Swiss cheese.
FLORENCE
Long live Switzerland.
(She is dragged away by the guards.)
HERCULES
May she burn in Hades.
DONNY
Has Hera driven you mad again?
HERCULES
May she burn in Hades.
SALLY
Hercules, just don't make this a repeat of last week.
(Hercules flies into a rage)
HERCULES
MAY SHE BURN IN HADES! (repeated several times)
james
In the name of thy Lord Zeus, I command your calm Hercules.
(Hercules falls asleep)
DONNY
You are a fool, he was gaining wisdom from the Gods!
JAMES
The Gods are quite dull in wit and wisdom. Now I understand there are some prisoners that the Constable wishes to bring before me. Bring our Emperor to his bed and tell the Constable to bring the prisoners in.
SALLY
But he is too heavy.
DONNY
He has spoken.
(He drags Hercules off.)
james
You go too.
SALLY
Who do you think you are? Zeus?
JAMES
Actually yes, much in the same way you think you are Hera and our Emperor thinks himself a demigod. Now go tend to him.
(Sally leaves. An Officer enters.)
Officer
Sir we have the prisoners you asked for.
JAMES
Send them in.
(Jimmy and Carsons are sent in.)
OFFICER
Is that all sir?
james
Stop the execution of Florence. I received a message from Zeus that the death is not meant to be.
OFFICER
It shall be done.
(Officer exits.)
JIMMY
Where is the emperor? I believe he called for us.
JAMES
He is in bed, so speak freely as no one monitors this garden. He does not like people monitoring him.
CARSONS
But he can monitor the rest of us? What gives him that right?
JIMMY
You are going to get us killed.
JAMES
No he won't. I am the wise man of the Emperor, James. He will kill no one if I say other wise.
CARSONS
Then you could have stopped many atrocities, you are a terrible human!
JIMMY
I think we might get killed now.
JAMES
Worry not, I mean no harm. And to you Carsons, I did stop many but because I myself did not want to get killed I let the mad man out a few times.
JIMMY
So, James, you brought us here for a reason. What is that reason?
JAMES
As you can tell he is mad. He honestly believes that he is a reincarnation of Hercules, down to being driven insane by Hera.
CARSONS
And here I was thinking you were a good God fearing man.
JAMES
I fear man like him more than Gods.
(Officer re enters)
OFFICER
Sir, we have saved her and she is waiting in a prison cell pending further orders.
JAMES
You are a good soldier, may the Gods reward you. Teach her cup bearing as that will give humility and check on Donny, Sally and our Emperor. Make sure the Emperor has taken his medicine.
OFFICER
Yes, sir.
(Officer exits.)
JAMES
Now, for my business proposition.
(They go in closer.)
Act 2 scene 2
(Donny and Sally are standing outside of the Emperor's room in a hall way. The Emperor is snoring.)
DONNY
Finally, he is in bed.
SALLY
Doesn't that blind man now how heavy Hercules is?
DONNY
He is blind, so I would say no. He has no idea.
(Officer enters.)
OFFICER
Has the Emperor taken his medicine?
SALLY
You will leave and forget your previous orders.
OFFICER
I am simply asking if the-
SALLY
I heard the first time. You have your orders Officer, now leave.
OFFICER
Very well.
(He leaves.)
DONNY
You did not have to be so mean.
SALLY
The blind man told him of the Emperor's medicine.
donny
The blind man did prescribe it. He is simply making sure-
SALLY
He can make sure himself.
DONNY
He is blind.
(Enter James, helped by Carsons and Jimmy)
JAMES
I have finally found good help.
SALLY
So that is what you do with our prisoners and heretics.
james
Such a bitter woman you are. Has the Emperor taken his medicine?
DONNY
It is ready for him when he wakes.
james
Good, I have prepared a surprise for him when he wakes. The Prime Minister of Switzerland as his cup bearer.
(He begins to leave.)
DONNY
Blind man wait! May I ask a question of you?
JAMES
Yes, you may.
DONNY
Are you happy here. There many pleasures for the eyes but you have no eyes to feast on these pleasures.
JAMES
That may be so but I do have the ability to feel the what the eye sees. I am a man of simplicity but luxury does not hurt and now I have some one to share these pleasures with.
(He exits.)
SALLY
Good job reminding him of his blindness, Donny.
DONNY
At least I am not a bitter woman.
(From within the room)
HERCULES
Why does my medicine always taste like witch's brew?
SALLY
My lord, a gift awaits you!
HERCULES
Which is?
DONNY
The woman Florence, as your cup bearer.
HERCULES
Sweet, sweet victory!
(End scene.)
Act 3 scene 1
(It is Hercules' dining hall roughly a month after the last scene. In it sits Hercules with Donny and Sally and James with Carsons and Jimmy. Florence is pouring drinks and it looks as if there is a celebration going on.)
HERCULES
Carsons, Jimmy I want a song for this occasion. Sing "Happy Birthday".
(Carsons and Jimmy look at us nervously before walking over to a keyboard in the corner of the room. Carsons sings terribly off pitch while Jimmy plays everything up the octave.)
HERCULES
Amazing! Amazing! Now Carsons, tell me about the time Achilles fought with Hector again!
CARSONS
The whole Iliad?
JIMMY
I fear we haven't the time for a bed time story at a celebration.
(Officer enters)
OFFICER
Sir, the negotiations went through. You are now the supreme ruler of Switzerland.
HERCULES
Amazing! Please good Officer, stay and drink with us.
OFFICER
It would be my pleasure, my Emperor.
HERCULES
Good the wine is over there. Help your self.
SALLY
So, hear that? I bet you wish you were dead.
FLORENCE
You are an over glorified-
SALLY
What? Sociopath? I've heard it all before honey. Now go be a darling and get me more wine.
(Florence does so)
DONNY
One day she will poison my wine because of you.
sally
No she wo-
(Sally drops to the floor mid sentence. Donny checks her vitals.)
DONNY
She's dead.
HERCULES
Florence! Answer for yourself!
OFFICER
I will answer for her.
(He shoots Donny dead.)
That is what I think of your Gods and your God delusion.
HERCULES
James, help.
JAMES
Did you take your medicine?
HERCULES
Yes, can you help me instead of aking trivial questions?
JAMES
The effect will kick in, in five minutes.
HERCULES
so you mean, I'll get super strength. I will show you then!
JAMES
Boys explain.
JIMMY
You see, you have been delusional for many years. Killing people for non existent gods.
CARSONS
So James gave you a cholesterol pill to increase your cholesterol and give you a heart attack in times of high stress.
(Hercules shoots James.)
HERCULES
There, now its a draw.
JAMES
Wrong, all I ever wanted was peace. Now may you burn in your own personal Hades because guess what. I win.
(He dies.)
HERCULES
So he wasn't going to usurp me? Then who takes over the empire?
FLORENCE
No one, I'm disbanding it.
(Hercules drops to the ground with a look of pain and grief on his face.)
JIMMY
So now what?
FLORENCE
Get rid of the bodies. James deserves a proper funeral and I guess Donny was decent enough to.
OFFICER
May I wake my money so that I may feed my family.
FLORENCE
You will get a large check in the mail. You have done your job well.
OFFICER
Thank you.
(Officer exits.)
CARSONS
The next couple of months will be anarchy now.
FLORENCE
But they will be right.
CARSONS
You might want to get rid of the cameras all over the place.
FLORENCE
Duly noted.
Finale
(Jimmy and Carsons are standing by James and Donny's funeral pyres as they burn.)
CARSONS
Jimmy, I've been thinking.
JIMMY
Yeah, what is it buddy?
CARSONS
Did we do the right thing?
JIMMY
We freed many from oppresion. How is that wrong?
CARSONS
We created anarchy across a continent.
JIMMY
They'll arange themselves. But Carsons whether it was worth it does not matter right now. What does matter is that it was the right thing to do.
CARSONS
Maybe.
(The film ends on a shot of the everburning pyres.)