Then the curtains flew back to a great applause as a tall man with beautiful curly brown hair stepped from behind the curtain. His walk was almost that of a party drunk but had to much confidence to be that of a party drunk. His eyes were warm and full of greetings to the crowd they scoured but in reality they hid a dark truth to himself that he could never let out. His name was Bach Sius and he was the host of the popular game show The Games just a few years ago before it was cancelled due to budget restrictions. It should be noted that Bach Sius has not been seen since then.
"Hello, and welcome to The Games! Today we have a very special show that will focus on the mythology of the ancient Greeks but first I would like to ask yourselves to restrain yourselves- yes something I know is hard to do around me- as our special guest is one of great stature. Now introducing the Prime Minister of Italy, Joviani!"
Much to both Joviani and Bach's dismay the crowd broke out into cries of booing. One guest had the audacity to ask "How's Mary?" to which Joviani famously replied "she's fine" wishing to give a simple answer that would not vindicate him in the ongoing moral scandal. When the scandal was resolved he made it clear that his actions during the show were influenced by how the audience reacted to him.
"Are you ready?" asked Bach
"Yes" said Joviani
"Remember, we're not gods and we got this in the bag" whispered Bach (better known as Bacchus) into Joviani's (better known as Zeus) ear.
"Got you" said Zeus right back.
"Then let the games begin!" Said Bacchus getting right back to his show. "First question: Who is Zeus?"
"I am- I mean the lord of the sky and supreme ruler of all gods" said Zeus correcting himself
"Look who thinks he's confident" said Bacchus teasing. "Who is Hestia?"
"A dirty, terrible, ugly whore who-" He was cut off by Bacchus' look of fear, "I mean the goddess of the home."
"Absolutely correct. How many girls in here would appeal to Zeus?"
Much to the audience's horror he gave them a good long stare. As soon as his stare ended he began to count on his fingers and when he finished counting on his fingers he looked at Bacchus and said "507" despite not having 507 fingers. To destroy the tension he also added "and Matt" secretly hoping that nobody would guess that the supreme god's favorite past time was watching The Doctor save the universe for himself.
"That sounds about right" said Bacchus, unsure of the actual answer itself. "Call me Matt" said Bacchus hoping for another laugh which worked. The show went on in this way until the million dollar question.
"Who is Haphaestus" asked Bacchus
"I think I need to use lifelines" said Zeus. Instead of simply asking the audience himself he summoned his son Hermes to ask the audience for them. Hermes told him the audience was sure that Haphaestus was the son of Zeus how ever Zeus did not wish to admit to having an ugly child on public television despite having pretty much admitted that he liked Russel T. Davies Nu Who stories compared to Stephen Moffat's, something tantamount to heresy in the fan base. To this extent he had Hermes call the other gods, Hera, Poseidon, Hades, Eros and even Athena all said that Haphaestus was Zeus' son.
"If you don't answer soon, we'll have to stop the questioning" said Bacchus a look of fear in his eyes.
"Very well, you call the forge guy" said Zeus to Hermes. Luckily "the forge guy" happened to be Haphaestus who in his anger at his father shouted through the phone that he was Haphaestus and that he was the God of the forge before Aphrodite interrupted him and Hermes hung up the phone. Zeus having acute ears caught the entire conversation and answered the correct answer and had no need to confess that he has and ugly son. When everything calmed down and all were gone Hermes looked to Bacchus and said:
"Maybe it was a good idea that we never told him about Midas."
"Yeah this was far more amusing then watching him turn Hera, Haphaestus, Aphrodite and Ares into gold. Want to get a drink?" said Bacchus
"Sure" and the two walked away, while Zeus now had the money to hire a lawyer to get out of trouble and never once realized that he was on a game show on unnecessary until about a year later when similar events happened with a younger girl and he snapped his fingers as a get out of jail free card. Never the less Zeus learned his lesson, game shows are always out to get you. Whether or not this is the lesson Bacchus and Hermes looked to teach will never be known because they refuse to reveal it.
No comments:
Post a Comment