(Scene begins)
Man: Hello I am Bendict Frollo and I am here to tell you about the friend pill, Friendz2you! While you may think that this is a complex and complicated hoax like certain spam messages let me assure this has nothing to do with attractive 25 year olds living in your area but rather a clean cut business centered around making you more popular then that jock which beat you up for lunch money when you were in high school! Here is some user testimony:
Man 1: I used Friendz2you and am now always flocked by beautiful woman
Woman 1: I used Friendz2you and loved the results
Bendict: Here is how the friend pill works. It releases hormones that you can't possibly understand and most certainly cause cancer. These hormones make you more attractive to men, women and beast. But don't take my word for it!
Woman 2: I began dating my boyfriend out of pity, he looked like mr. krab met a whale: in short he was hideous. However once he began taking Friendz2you he became the most attractive man on Earth and know I love him!
Bendict: And all this can be yours for a few easy payments of 69.96! That's right you can finally have friends for 20 easy payments of 69.96! Call now or lose out on this remarkable offer that is most definitely legit and not funding organized crime! So call now or else you won't find a horse head in your bed, nope you definitely won't find that!
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