(The doors begin to have a banging on them).
Soldier 3: Ummm, Gingers first
(pushes soldier 5)
Soldier 5: No wait, I never told her- Aaaah (He is over taken by the radishes who surround him, he is gone when the radishes clear the spot).
Soldier 2: Man down, man down!
General: Stay calm soldier! (To the rest of his man) Battle stations, we must hold them here so they cannot enter the village!
Soldier 4 (to soldier 1): This wasn't in my job description! (They shoot furiously at the radishes as a few soldiers and the general are able to eat some).
Radish soldier: Bring in the box.
General: Wait what box?
Radish soldier: The box.
Soldier 4: Sir, is the charge in place?
General: Don't say it out loud.
Radish soldier: What charge?
General: What box?
Deep voice: This box, rejoice my children: Daddy is coming home!
(A box appears in the middle of the floor)
Soldier 3: When did that box get there?
(Out of the box appears a black hole out of which Soldier 5 steps).
Soldier 5: Father is coming.
(The radish release a screech)
General: What's going on?
Deep voice: They're laughing, my soldiers. I'm Home! It's time to burn!
(He steps out of the black hole).
Man: I am Gary the garrulous, traveler of dimensions and ruin er of worlds and I like to talk! Almost like a gossipy girl, oh wait what are those shiny things (trails off).
General: Ok Gary, I'm giving you one last chance, leave or have more bullet holes in you then swiss cheese (soldiers cheer).
Soldier 5: Father won't leave, we need him here.
Radish soldier: We can't live with out father.
Gary: That's right, my children adore me. If I leave they won't exist just like I made your ginger here. Who's next, you, you or you? Come on, come to daddy!
General: So we're all going to die?
Soldiers: Don't speak that way (ad lib)
Radish soldier: Yes you will all burn! Burn and burn some more!
Gary: He seems like a nice fellow though, please continue because if you don't die you will be my child. I think you'd make a good one.
General: Then tell me this, if you're traveling dimensions what happens when we destroy the box?
Gary: You need a nuclear war head to do that so I see no harm in telling you. If I don't go back in I'll be stranded, unable to eat and eventually die.
General: And your children as you call them?
(The children have a great uproar)
Gary: All but the ginger will die, you see the ginger hasn't been near me long enough to fade if I do, but if the portal is destroyed the radish army will have never existed. Well now I see no more reason to forego your demise...
Soldier 1: You forgot last words
Soldier 2: Everyone gets last words
Soldier 3: Except maybe you
Soldier 4: There's one thing you didn't count on
Soldier 5: What?
General: Never, ever let me talk. (He pulls out a detonator which detonates a bomb in the floor while all the power goes into the portal).
Gary: Are you insane, you can get us all killed!
General: Security protocol 130945678, in case of invasion all generals on the planet Earth are to do what ever it takes to defeat the invasion which includes but is not limited to small nuclear devices. In thins case the portal will take in the energy but look at your children, look! (he looks they are in pain).
Radish soldier: Help me, the pain...
Soldier 3: Shut up (he shoots it).
General: You brought this on them. If you stay we will try to help you!
Gary: Bull shit (he jumps into the portal as the soldiers open fire into the portal, the explosion calms and the portal disappears).
General (approaching soldier): Are you okay?
Soldier 5: What happened? Did we win?
General: Yes we won. Let's go tell the towns people! (They all run into town and then into a shop screaming "we beat the radish people!". The town people look confused)
Soldier 2: Sir they don't exist anymore, that's why they don't know.
General: Don't worry, go about your business (they leave but Soldier 5 looks pained).
Soldier 4: Are you okay?
Soldier 5: It's not ginger anymore. (He runs up behind General with a knife and stabs him) Daddy's back! (The shock causes convulsions in both as Soldier 5 takes over again).
Soldier 5: What, what happened?
General: Nothing, you did good.
Soldier 5:Are you, are you ok?
General: Yes (Solder 3 approaches behind him). She knows son. (soldier 3 shoots him dead).
Soldier 3: I hope you understand.
General: He would. (The general dies).
Soldier 1: There's only one last thing to do.
Soldier 2: Give them a decent burial?
Soldier 4: Steal their possessions?
Soldier 3: Get away before the cops get here?
Solder 5: No, yes, definitely and burn the bodies. I hat zombie movies.
(all agree)
(The scene ends)
